Social system : a silent crisis

When I saw on Facebook page about the 16 days activism against Gender Based Violence, I googled it. All the results had mentioned ‘women’ and ‘girls’, then I began questioning if it is interchangeable to women based violence just as it has be widely acknowledged that most gender-based violence is inflicted on women and girls, by men. 

No, they were different.

Recently ‘’The sexiest International Man Alive’’ was announced. I saw many women who earlier posted about LGBTQ+ rights, breaking women stereotypes, gender roles etc openly opinionated, ‘’Is he even a man, he doesn’t have beard and mustache’’, ‘’It  is perplexing to differentiate him between girl and a boy, on top of that he puts on a make-up and dances flexibly like a girl’’, ‘’He cries like a girl on stage’’. I have a question: Isn’t it a high time even for girls to give up on stereotypical psychological abuse on men?

In this Covid-19 pandemic, there were issues about rape, domestic violence etc. I am glad it came out but have any person interviewed a man who just lost his job in gulf countries and how he felt when his family and children watched him in vexation? Has anyone been inquisitive about the state of prisoners, militants, where male numbers are top-notch? When hashtags about mental health were circulated, has anyone talked about mental suppression and inability of emotional literacy of men?  Psychologically, loss of self‐esteem, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, anger (including desire for revenge), shame, humiliation, resentment, nightmares, guilt, emotional numbing, sleep and eating disorders, increased drug and alcohol consumption, and suicidal tendencies. In addition to difficulties in domestic relations, including abandonment by spouses, they often experience loneliness and may be socially stigmatized or ostracized by their community. Young unmarried men may doubt their capacity to establish a family.

 Any idea about emotional abuse?

 Legal definitions of rape are often specific to women and children, making it impossible for adult men to lay a charge of rape. In men, physical consequences of sexual violence frequently include damage to the rectum and to the genitalia, urinary and sexually transmitted infections, and sexual dysfunction.Where same‐sex relations are criminalised, male survivors are at risk of being interrogated about their sexual orientation and prosecuted for having engaged in same‐sex activity. Many survivors do not report incidents because they lack confidence in the judicial system. Failure to prosecute could increase the risk that Gender Based Violence offences may be repeated

Just after a boy is born, what will the people say? ‘’Yes, the heir to continue the family's name has arrived. Since an early age, he has been taught not to cry, else everyone starts shaming him, ‘’Look he is crying like a girl’’. He doesn’t feel easy saying ‘’I love you mom’’ or hugging his dad during trouble. He tries so hard to be cool among his friends. He isn’t allowed to complain about the bullies in school because he is a man he should learn to handle, else he should take charge of fighting physically too. He starts seeking a girl because he doesn't want to be a coward, he wants to be ‘the man’. His parents never morally support him and for his children, he is an ATM machine. A father’s love is probably the most underrated thing in this world. A mother’s care is seen but a father’s concern is ignored. A mother’s effort is seen but the father’s helplessness is unseen. When I woke up early in the morning, I just saw my neighbour’s son. He had confessed that he wanted to be a nurse but he had only two options, either to be a doctor or engineer. Have you seen any man disclose that they want to be a ballet dancer, housekeeper, receptionist? Definitely not. Will a girl marry a boy less in terms of education, or salary, or ability? How many of the conversations have taken place about sexual harassment to boys in general and in refugee camps? A girl’s career is an extra point, not a mandatory one but a boy should do no matter what.  

What can youth do? Simple, they can just try to bring out these conversations and apply them practically. Respect all men playing various roles in their life. Try bringing out unpopular conversations like, Coming home late is risky even to men, Men are allowed to be feminine, Gay people are not fetish, Nail polish is for everyone etc. Yes, they should be men and behave like men, they aren’t statues. Many genuine men have been victims of over exploitation of power supremacy given by the law. Let these conversations be heard.

It’s hard to be a woman, it’s hard to be a man, basically it’s hard to be human. Don’t make it even worse. Patriarchy system has not only touched badly on women but also on men.