The love|Boy's part|Moving on note from first week

Ya,I got access to his online diary in the evening where he had poured his heart after the 'BREAKUP' incident.So this was the first week note by him.

''It's over,I want to move on'',

How impulsively you said that.

I don't know it was impulsive decision or not because you are one of the wise girl I know and that accusation would not suit up.However I have a question,

''Why?''

''Do I deserve such a heartbreak?''

''Was my love lacking something?'',''Wasn't my love making you happy?''

My mind has lots of questions but you have your own opinions and I bet they ain't my answers though.

Just one thing I want to say,If you were unhappy then you could have told me,I could have put effort.You know I just have a regret that I couldn't read the thing missing in my love when they showed spark that just drew me into.I couldn't feel the passiveness of effort you were making when I felt that was because of our stability in our relation.I couldn't understand the yelling of your heart when I felt it just wanted rhythm of my heartbeat. I drowned into the thought of being inseparable twin flames  when your soul felt no connection in between.

These days are harsh.I googled  every possible ways to move on,I googled quotes,I tried to keep myself busy,I tried to boycott every single thing that hold your memory including removing your number but it didn't happen.My mind would have never remembered you so intensely like they do when I want to move on.For this I feel like my mind too betrayed my innocence, like my heart as they send connectivity vibes with you.

Dear, you know I realized something today.When one person out of a billion comes to your life and lightens up your life and goes just like that,they desert your life like one I am living at the moment.Everyone and everything seems to have betrayed you including self anatomy and physiology.My friend got some sniff of our burnt relationship and said just like in movies that it's going to be fine,it's hard at the beginning?Will it be fine,Selena?Whenever I felt low my heart always wished you but now what can this heart do when you are the reason of my breakdown,huh? At the moment I can't measure my fear thinking what if,if it will not be fine?What if my heart remain broken or even healed with stitches but they will create some weak points in it, na?I wish I had time machine to skip this period,it's my only wish during this period.

It's really hard to leave you. Every time I'm constantly checking my messages just to have your a word response and don't want you to feel ignored even for a moment because you are that very special to me.Do you feel the same?Oh sorry why would you,you are the one who is bravest,I feel like I am a cat and you are a lioness( but not commendable bravery though).I hate you...( will write about my progress in next but not sure it might be deteriorating story as well).I am ending because I want to cry... a lot and my hands are trembling to write.