Just one ignored story
After five years, I saw this familiar face in the same class of my first year in Bachelors.He had grown taller and looked more mature. He wasn`t that shy guy among boys and mean, arrogant person among girls anymore.(Hush...all boys and girls would always doubt his sexual orientation and there were many nicknames of his but we are not telling him, ok?) His eyes looked friendly and it felt like he was glad seeing me. Days by days, months by months, we became really close friends. Helping each other in studies, sharing our ideas and enjoying every bit of our undergraduate degree. One day we had to return late after attending a meeting, and there was a lot of traffic jam, a few steps away from our stop.It was summer, we were standing and we were disgusted by scorching heat inside the bus that is why we decided to walk as it was just 30 minutes away from our home. We began to have deep conversations by five minutes of our walk.Out of my reflex action, I asked out of curiosity,'' Why you used to avoid girls?Are you gay?Why are you so selective about girls, to be your friend?" I don`t know it was the circumstances, or he trusted me blindly or he was tired of holding things to self. He said, "I can tell you the reason.But, You sound feminist during our talks so you will not understand me or you would laugh, but I will tell you.Listen carefully.''
"When I was studying in class 3, everybody used to love me.I used to sleep with anyone who loved me dearly.One night, I was sleeping with my grandmother and a relative, a sister.I woke up suddenly at midnight.My grandmother was asleep and my sister was touching my private part and asking to get it inside her.I ignored it at first.I had no idea back then what actually was the use of my different parts from a female. I was confused and afraid, I cried aloud, louder as I could.Then my grandmother woke and she asked me why was I awake and crying this loud.I didn`t say anything and she thought I was showing my child tantrums. The next encounter to such bad touch was with my other cousin sister, she used to kiss me, hug me and make me do many things which I still feel ashamed remembering while seeing her face.My brother used to take my hands to touch his private part and used to rub himself, Jennie. To summarize it all, I was a victim of sexual molestation by a member of my own family tree. I know you will nod in disbelief because it doesn`t happen to many and many stories don`t come up to the ears and media.Since then I started hating girls, I started avoiding boys, I was in complete isolation back then.I couldn`t share this with anyone, would anyone bother taking my things seriously?I would be matter of laugh, embarrassment would surround me, I would get mocked by everyone who would listen to my story, many wouldn`t believe that I was harassed by a woman, people like you who call themselves feminist and run different organizations would always keep your tribe first before my pain, you would implicate it was because of my own desires, I was in class 3 Jennie, I didn`t know anything as sex and stuff (sobering), they would believe since I was a man I could handle myself, I couldn`t cry, I had to suppress my emotional tornado within self, I was scared of nicknames and lots of emotional thrills I can`t express in words.But after getting exposed to 'Reproductive and Sexual Health Education' I realized that one of my sisters was in grade 9 and one had recently passed S.L.C so it was due to their euphoric state of hormones. I have forgotten what they have done to me and I talk nicely to them, now both are married.But I am still scared I don`t get such experience of harassment by my friends and in the workplace in the future after surviving my childhood trauma."(moment of silence)
Bringing out the courage among hesitation, I asked, "Why are you sharing this with me, and not to your friends(boy)?He replied,"You know Jennie, sometimes because of the ship tagged as masculinity, we boys often don`t listen we just hear, we don`t feel what other boy says, we always keep ourselves as Alpha male that is what we are inherited with, we barely do serious conversations except when the booze goes down, that is why we find a girl because they at least listen to us and care for us unlike what masculinity theory has for us, we also want to pour our heart out to someone and cry like a child and nothing is better than a shade of a divine tender love from a girl.''I felt the time was still, listening to his words.I said, "The ship of masculinity has sailed, don`t you think?'' We both giggled.I felt sorry to myself for being so negative about their tough nature, I felt they were like a coconut, tough or trying to be tough from outside but lots of softness and love to offer.Yeah, that moment.I had no words for his courage to share such sensitive experience and neither I could do anything about it.I just subconsciously had prayed, I hope he gets a girl who would bring rainbow in his life just as he believes that girl is a Goddess, benevolent, dutiful and controlled.
Male sexual harassment do exist in many forms,done by any person of any gender identity,sexual orientation and of any age.It is one of the most underrated,unheard and underestimated topic in the world,we barely talk about it, we barely report about it because male handle things themselves, else they are coward ,right?.According to U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission(EEOC) in 2015,6822 sexual harassment claims were filed by men in workplace.Many of these survivors are around us keeping bag of stories to themselves, smiling,acting strong,pretending to be 'THE MAN'.