Becoming less of an asshole

I donʼt believe in formulae of any kind when it comes to the how-toʼs concerning human behavior. Everyone should get a chance at messing up in life. Still, wouldnʼt it be easier to some degree, if people around arenʼt doing the same, horrible shit on repeat and admitting to learning lessons everyday? Hereʼs a rant on how you can do better at being. 

Communicate

Be honest, not all the time though: occasionally at some interviews.Whenever you canʼt commit to something, just say so. The worst thing you can do is getting the other personʼs hopes up only to disappoint them later. 

If itʼs a text message asking something of you, give a clear yes or no. Itʼs that simple. You donʼt have to feel bad for something you cannot do.Trust me, theyʼll understand. 

Itʼs the key; not the only key to any relationship. Talk things through. If thatʼs difficult, how about a mail, letter, or a text? Having things left to say, confessions to be made are horrendous reasons to lose relationships over. 

With the last minute cancellations, the deal is the same i.e. communicate. The other party being too persuasive, playing you the guilty-card shouldnʼt decide things for you. You could always wait and say no, than to give out an instant, thoughtless Y E S. 

Listen 

Whenever someone is speaking, say a friend of yours, it would be humanly to pay attention. Opening your mouth too much means you know everything, which you donʼt. Even though you think youʼve acquired enlightenment, letʼs suppose, itʼs good to listen. 

Especially, if itʼs a friend of yours sharing about something he went through, make sure you lend your ears. The terrible mistake would be to say,”Yah, it was painful when I lost my mother,” in the midst of your friend saying, “My dog passed, and I donʼt feel good about anything.” Why? 

- a. Because itʼs not a competition. 

b. Your time will come.Let your friend have that safe space for sharing without feeling attacked or interrupted. 

c. Pain isnʼt relative. Different individuals have different reactions to the things they go through.

 You can see Ananya being toyed by memers and trollers on the web. Sucks that they get paid to do so, and that these are 21st century profession. 

Be funny, but not mean 

If youʼre funny all the time, then something might be wrong with you. It is not normal. One cannot be funny every waking hour without offending or hurting anyone. Call it sarcasm, savagery, coolness, attitude or “hami estai ta ho ni bro,” that shit is hazardous to any relationship. 

Yes, that guy is hilarious, but at the expense of what? Is he always using someone as a tool for his so called cracker-jacks? Is the phrase ‘no offense, thoughʼ a constant with him? Does he laugh hysterically at his own jokes? 

If all the above checkboxes are ticked, then, chances are that he might be what you shouldnʼt aspire to be. Given that he gets all the eyes and ears, itʼs still not worth it. What's worse? - That guy being you.

'Just kidding' sometimes might be 'just killing' to some. Have that in mind before you consider yourself the life of the party. 

I-am-what-I-am attitude 

If I could call this a syndrome, Iʼd name it an asshole syndrome. This syndromeʼs Nepali version would be “haami yestai ta ho ni bro.” 

While there may be several basis for why this might be happening to a person, it isnʼt okay for a person to be shitty on account of that. Very easily thrown about, this phrase might become a habit and turn anyone into a moron with zero acceptance. 

The music was good, but the mass repeating this hysterically and hypocritically was ticking off the wrong checkboxes. Banned for good. :)

Be civil

Itʼs a world where boards saying “Donʼt harm the plants,” “Donʼt drive zigZag,” “Do not litter,” “Act civil.” “Write and then read an article about how to become a better person" are necessary.

Iʼve heard somewhere that it takes zero cents to behave politely. Letʼs give it a try. Itʼs free! What more: You donʼt have to check the time, wait for others to notice, or worry about impressing anyone. It can be a continuous state. 

For people who lack decency, it is of no use to dub them monkeys or dogs or savages; itʼs insulting and scarring to those beautiful creatures.

Donʼt use swear words. If it is in your blood to swear, I may have a solution for you. Every time you want to swear, replace it with cheap phrases from movies, “hait,” “dhatt,” “leh,” “mya...gdi khola” or whatever; go creative. 

Using phone as a phone 

This one should go under communication. Iʼve seen and been one of those people whoʼve bickered over text messages. The seen- but-no-reply game is a dangerous one and ships have drowned for issues smaller than this. 

“Call. Use your phone as a phone.” 

‘What if they donʼt pick up?ʼ “Leave a message, then asking them to call back.” ‘What if nothing comes back later?ʼ “Text them again for they may have missed out.” ‘Okay, I guess.” 

Guessing! Hmm... See, thatʼs when we ride the overthinking-train and knit our stories in our head. The villain is always the other person. This is a time and energy drainer, so our best bet is to wait and take care of other business. Iʼm telling you again, ships have sunk; friendship, relationship and who knows real cruise ship with living, breathing people in it. 

–––––As an endnote, Iʼd like to make it easy for quick and lazy readers by mentioning the kwool mantra for becoming better: 

- Donʼt communicate clearly 

-Never listen carefully 

- As long as you can be funny, insult everyone. Don't even leave your parents...

-  What you are is all you can be, thereʼs nothing more perfect

-  Be evil 

The last and the least: ;) 

Take care of yourself.

Gratitude and Credit:

For brilliant illustrations:

https://www.instagram.com/iejvxr/