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It’s been a month since my marriage. I am loving it, the changes, the new connections, the new feeling. My in-laws are supportive and so is my husband. I am among those few lucky generations to have gotten the family I truly wished to have after my marriage. At one point in time, I had given up on the idea of finding a partner I would love to get accompanied. My in-laws are supportive and my husband has traveled the world. I was accepted. Accepted? This word hit you differently? Well, yes, I got accepted, let's say. I had always been nurtured in the way where family decisions were an open space for opinions. But I was unsure if it would be the same after my marriage. I wanted to marry without just trading my body for a household. It was something like taking a chance for the right one despite my age. Deep down in my heart, I knew it was that right person and a snap. That’s it. Unfortunately, people like strong, bold, and opinionated women just for the workplace but they are merely marriage material. I remember how my friend made fun of her being a lawyer and men avoiding her just because they were afraid.
Just after marriage, a bulk of guests arrived at the house. It’s fun until they leave you with hecticness and uncountable dishes to wash. My husband prepares tea while we are just in the house. But when guests arrive I can’t ask him to prepare if I have a whole bunch of work activities. That’s where I felt like we have reached somewhere on women's equity but haven’t reached the end. I remembered people saying, ``What would you do after marriage? Will you be able to complete your study? Will you be able to work after marriage? Will you be able to work after having kids?’’ But I wasn’t working because I wanted to prove I am a financially independent person. I wanted to work for myself, for my personal growth. I didn’t want to allow any phase of life to become a barrier. It’s solely my interest, my investments of years in studies, my lifetime of experience. Many people take it as a burden, this marriage. I empathize with them. I wish for them to get every big thing in this world. Luckily, I didn’t suffer from the stereotypical outlook for a daughter-in-law. But a little discomfort is always present in new changes, isn’t it? Just like a new school is difficult to get adjusted to. But some changes are really new and uncomfortable. Those days are highly missed when all your parents prepared for every festival and all you do is put some decorations, touch-up on food items and dress-up. As you are the key to every detail of rituals, you should be present in the rituals, in the management team, in the kitchen section, in the guest relations, literally everywhere. You start realizing the importance of work management. This is not a burden, but a beautiful personal growth as well.
There are times when it just gets over the head. You start getting too involved in everything that you start feeling too tired by the end of the day. Kids adding love and additional work, additional skipping of personal time, additional reduction of creativity as you are always occupied. I miss hanging out with friends, trying dresses that a teenager's body demands, spending on beauty products but my expenses have shifted to my family’s betterment. To be honest, I miss my time but I love being there for my family more. As a teenager when I imagined life as a pause to a beautiful life, I found beauty in living it. Marriage for me was never an option for settling down but to grow and prosper. It is never a milestone for me rather a journey to create a new life within one. Earlier too, I was just alone, not incomplete.
One day, when my husband and I with that grey hair, wrinkled body, oddly placed clothes on the body, will be found sipping tea and memorizing our rumpled path life has been through. He would hold my hand and say, ‘’How can I be so lucky enough to get my marriage proposal being accepted that day by you? I always wonder about this.’’
That simple sentence would relieve my heaviness of responsibility from my chest.