Naïve

My mother was constantly making a fuss about her degrading health. She was saying something like, ‘’I am about to get sick, I'm getting that feeling’’. I was studying for an exam, I had no time to console her while I was praying for her not to get sick till my exams are over else I will have to do all household chores that shall hamper my study routine. She, my mother, was constantly checking on me if I had been studying properly or not, taking appropriate rest or not, taking exam pressure or not, or taking food on time while in-home or at college.

Amidst my almost more than half a month exam schedule, I would confirm that my mother was giving the exam along with me. Waking up early in the morning to get my breakfast followed by serving the main meal and sometimes helping me find my last washed jeans, literally everything. I can’t imagine what I would do without her being my helping hand. However, all I was praying was that she shouldn’t fall sick until my exams are over. I used to ask her how she was feeling now and ask her to take some herbal medicines but that’s what I could do amidst the chaos of the exam.

One day I was walking by her room and she was again complaining about her health status to my dad. He was consoling her that they would go for a check-up when he has some free time. It’s been a week now. One day, I had an easy subject that's why I had at least a couple of minutes to observe my environment. I decided to take a day break as well since I was feeling that I am about to catch a cold. My mom was shocked listening to this and started providing me with hot water, herbal medicines, searching some warmer clothes, suggesting that she would go with me for a check-up and for her gut sense or she started advising me that I should take less pressure for the exam and no need to worry about better grades. The inner feverish feeling wasn’t related anyway to exam pressure however she was worried if that’s the case. I was surprised to see that coming from my mother who takes education so damn seriously. I decided to take a quick nap. Once I woke up, she was massaging my dad’s head as he was having a headache. 

After a few days, she began grumbling about her health. This time I got a quick realization that when I and my father were going through health problems, she wasn’t complaining because she didn’t want to add her problem to ours and was completely dedicated to our well-being. A week later, my father gave her a certain amount to receive a check-up. That day she got stuck up with certain housework. The very next day, I told my mother that I needed some amount for a birthday gift for one of my old school friends. She tried to convince me to limit my expenditure within my pocket money but seeing my sad face and to avoid any kind of psychological melodrama that might ruin my exam she gave that amount, the whole of it, and again told me if possible better limit my expense. I was not happy listening to her lecture in addition to money. Many ideas popped around my head to gift my friend with something. As soon as I entered, I got fascinated with glittery items, I picked up one and while I was walking to the counter, something happened. I felt a certain coldness in my heart, I began realizing that I reached my teenage back. I turned my feet in the embarrassment of showing my face to the owner and walked home straight away.

I was being so driven by my idea of giving my friend on her special day(which was good of course) but I was urged to spend that money that my mother got for a check-up which she didn't earn herself as she was a housewife. I was selfish enough to pray for her well-being not to relieve her but to make sure that my exams don’t get ruined. I got disgusted by my own thoughts. Her continuous complaint was not just to draw some money out of my dad’s pocket or put that heavy bag of her pain in my brain, she had tried to suppress the pain but when things went overhead she had no choice but to spill the tea in expectation to receive at least some care. She even gave that amount to make me happy, to avoid my embarrassment. How simple is that, how pure is that. When I mentioned ‘going back to teenage’, I meant that part when we often give so much time and dedication to the outsider and lose our own people.

Downplaying my housewife mom has been one of my biggest mistakes in my life. We take our parents, especially housewife moms for granted almost all of our life. She, out of all her tiredness doing chores working even more than us on physical, mental, social level, works harder enough to make a home safer to us that we can proudly leave all worldly headaches and call ‘THE HOME’. We often underestimate the little shared burdens of her mind, to be honest, we completely ignore it. We feel like we are the only ones who are better than her in many ways. I always wondered why this share of responsibility of giving love, being emotional, get menstrual cramps every month, carrying babies, and delivering children handed over to women?

Precisely, it’s because you can never see any creature that can reflect love, devotion, and resilience in the toughest of times. Be part of little joys, little pains, little suggestions they share before it’s too late, it indeed feels divine.