If you are not staying, do not appear

If you want to visit my life, don’t visit as a guest for a few days, to bring newness in life, giving happiness for a limited period of time and leaving with a part of my heart and time. Don’t appear if you want to leave in the middle of the journey and I should motivate myself hard to reach the other end too. Fed up with your compliments like, ‘’You are beautiful’’, since I realized it meant the same when you repeated the same dialogue to fifty other women everyday, just to grab a petty attention from us. Taking my self - esteem to a point just that you have pleasure of splashing me through the ground? Making me believe that I am convinced that I am acceptable to many people the way god created me. Yes I am fatso, and I have now realized that your compliments were the only way to get through my heart so that you can easily break my fragile heart. 

You came as a morning sunshine to my life giving me one more reason to live but don’t take a step forward if you will be leaving shadowing my other reasons to live. Don’t move if you aren’t ready to accept my appearance, emotions, vulnerability, insecurities, my weakness and my tantrums, please don’t bother. Just don’t become visible to criticize me if you aren’t helping to get rid of some of them. I have hardly gained my confidence to walk outside the house with my bulk of muscles. If you are proceeding then just don’t leave as a stranger that we never  met and abandon me for the whole life. You might be lured by me ‘’pretty’’ or ‘’not so pretty’’ face but don’t follow.

Don’t make me fall for a daydream as if you will be there forever, the dream that you yourself don’t believe in. I am not your ‘toy’ so that you can play whenever you like, however you like, keep me silent and leave me inside the drawer suffocatingly. Don’t peek into my life if you have any plans to leave without bidding a goodbye with proper reason. I beg you, don’t look upon my vulnerabilities and hit me. Don’t return if I am just ‘a another girl’ for you.